3rd Cycle, 3rd Infusion – December 13, 2018

Hello again. It’s a dark & grey Sunday with a spitting of rain nonstop. I am soaking in anti-nausea meds. I’m beginning to correlate this peak of bad feeling with the completion of my 46 hour long pumping of 5-fluorouracil. When that finishes is when the fun begins..for something like 8 days, gradually tapering off. I’m also pretty lazily-fatigued too. Fortunately I don’t have to work at any constant pace so I just sit down and noodle at something or take a nap when I start fading. Needless to say, times like this it’s 4:20 too.

Nevertheless I’ve done all the laundry so nothing is a total write off. We had brunch with friends after stopping off at Virginia Mason to have the pump removed yesterday, Saturday after the infusion. The Fridays and Saturdays don’t seem to be bad at all, a little fatigue but nothing else, although I do start taking anti-nausea meds regularly starting Thursday night….hmm, that could explain the fatigue too.

In other news: At work this week, my team hit a milestone objective despite its rich inventory of risks and difficulties. I’m actually really impressed with and like the team members. We’re having fun working with each other and outputting some really useful deliverables. My boss rocks. My boss’ boss is great. It seems to be like that all the way up. I wonder if that’s the case?

The old Beatles song “Blackbird” from the White Album just came on. It’s quiet in the house as I write at the kitchen table. The dogs are lying down on their beds next to the table, confident in the knowledge that they will soon be walking outside, raining or not. Melissa is doing post work on some macros she’s taken recently. Outside it’s raining and chilly cold. I’m dry and warm, along with everyone else here.

This is my real life. The cancer takes so little space in my life and yet such a huge priority, but my presence is in the present here and now. All around me life courses, and it’s sometimes staggeringly beautiful to experience it sweeping by as I swirl in its eddies.