Nothing Is Ever Simple

I just got back from a blood test, a CT scan and a consultation with my oncologist. My CA19-9 is down quite a bit but the CT scan shows a spot on my liver that wasn’t there in previous scans. I asked whether it could be something associated with the abscess I had on the liver in February but we checked those records and this spot is in a different place.

We’re planning for a biopsy now. The “interventional radiology” team will be calling me before Wednesday to schedule it. Why radiology? because they do imaging and it takes some really good imaging to route a long needle through my torso, into my body, and into that particular spot. Another complicated thing to do to get an answer.

I’m just pissed off about this now. It turns out to be a lot easier to reconcile oneself with death than it is to figure out a path that takes the longest to die, with the least discomfort. I’m still assimilating the possibility that I will be going in a painful, wasting manner whether soon or later.

There are tons of things I want to do, places to go, etc. I want that and not this sick crap. Hence I am pissed off. This is so crappy.

Oh and one more thing. Seattle, Portland, and New York city are not centers of anarchy. They are functioning just fine, with police and services. So Barr & Trump are just bullshitting again, and you need to vote Democrat if you want to have a predictable life and not get dragged into this political cancer in America called the new republican party.