OK, I’ve Had Enough
Last weekend I went back to the hospital again. This time we used 911 si we got transported to the old St. Jospeph’s Hospital which have just been renamed Virginia Mason Hospital,, Tacoma. Not quite as swank as VM Seattle but I’d say level of care is comparable.
Again with a high fever, weakness, general abdominal pain, etc. We recognize the signs early now. It happened 3 days after my Thursday chemo. This is the 4 time I’ve reinfected myself using chemo and I’m getting pretty tired of all this shit, so I’m discontinuing the chemo. As far as I’m concerned I am done with it. I want to quit the fight outside the infections. If it goes the way I think it will, I will recover from the weeks of antibiotics and get pretty strong again. This was when I used to resume chemo. Not this time.
If and when the cancer spreads I’m going on Hospice care and we’ll see if I last months or years.
So many details but this is what’s going to happen. Thought y’all would like to know!
August 9, 2022 @ 4:13 pm
Oh, Geoff.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
August 9, 2022 @ 7:33 pm
I feel so much about this post. I’m glad that you’re putting an end to the infection cycle. I hope there are non-chemo therapies that might help you keep the beast at bay (I’ve been on PARP inhibitors for 5 years + now, keeping the cancer from spreading). Your body tells you when it’s done, but it takes a long time to allow your heart and mind to listen. It’s against our nature. I hope, with all my heart, that you get back to feeling strong, that they find a way that is less toxic to your body to slow progression, that you can be pain-free. Hugs to you, you are in my thoughts.
August 10, 2022 @ 4:56 am
Thanx Karen. That’s exactly my thoughts.
August 17, 2022 @ 8:21 am
How are you feeling a week into the antibiotics?
I hope the general signs of infection – and especially the painful ones – are under control, and the side effects of the antibiotics are not too terrible.
August 18, 2022 @ 8:13 am
It’s pretty much the same routine as the 2st time they released me. I use pressurized bulbs of the compound hooked up to my Power Port, so although it may seem mysterious & fussy it’s really quite routine. Just gotta remember to pull each dose’s bulb from the fridge so i can invuse in the earloy evening rather than being a hurried rush before sleeping.
August 24, 2022 @ 2:47 pm
My dear brother,
My heart aches to read your words. I wish I could stitch together the right words to help comfort you, so for now, know that I love you, and am available to talk 24/7.
August 25, 2022 @ 11:51 am
How is the brain fuzz this time around? I remember that you said last time the infection, the meds or both were making it hard to concentrate.
Hoping that you both are finding some good times in the midst of everything.
August 25, 2022 @ 5:02 pm
Part of it is how much I myself want to care about a topic before committing. If sommething seems too esoteric Or that can’t at least be comfortable with it in the time remaining then that thing goes into my heap of “would-da should-da, could-da piles.
The fuzz itself is marginal vision loss, falling asleep just I start making my way into the problem, and so many other distractions like kitties on the web.
Right after the unconsciousness my thinking is a lot like rem dreams. Weird.
August 29, 2022 @ 9:50 am
I get that. In our family there’s a history of waking dream stuff under stress. If yours is like that, it is indeed very weird.
I’m glad you’re able to put things on the “would-da should-da coulda piles” – it’s where they belong.
September 7, 2022 @ 12:07 am
Hi Jeffrey,
I always come back to get news on one of the bravest warriors that I know. I wish you speedy recovery from this infection and send you all my good energies and strength!